A beginners guide to sex toys

Whether you prefer a gentle buzz or a more intense pulsation, you’re in control. This customization is key for finding the perfect vibration to soothe aching muscles or relieve stress. With 16 pre-set modes and the ability to create your own custom vibrations, this app provides a personalized relaxation experience.

I feel silly even confessing to being daunted by the user interface of a strawberry emoji-themed vibrator, but that’s what happened! The instructions indicate that you have to use the power button and the smaller, vibrations button to create the variation in vibration and suction you prefer. Pressing the power button turns on suction, while pressing the other button below it turns on the vibrations.

I also asked some experts about their favorite grinders and how they like to use them. “[Grinding toys are] perfect if you’re playing solo and want to keep things hands-free,” Madison says. Strap-on sex often benefits from the addition of a grinder, too, especially the kind that fits behind the dildo base in a harness to provide some extra stimulation and cushioning. Anyone of any gender or sexuality can use suction toys, but this one is a standout for LGBTQ+ couples in particular—or cis-het couples interested in anal play and pegging.

We’ve compiled the very best vibrators on the market today that are loved by sex experts viberators, educators and editors alike. Coming in at the top of our list is the Magic Wand Rechargeable Cordless Vibrator, a tried-and-true classic with an impressive motor and battery life. For something a little more budget-friendly, we recommend the under-$50 Maude Vibe, which packs a punch despite its small size. The size of a vibrator can also determine the different or limited ways you can use it. The Magic Wand comes with no attachments and isn’t designed to be put inside of you. A bullet vibrator, however, probably can (though we recommend following a brand’s instructions about the safe ways to use its sex toys).

We also asked about different ways to use the various styles of vibrators, and what to look for when shopping for one. Then we scoured the massive pool of vibrator options (and read tons of reviews) to find the ones that hit a variety of pleasure points, and that can be used alone or as a couple. This vibrator is a good option for anal exploration because of its unique, slim shape, which allows it to be used as a vibrator for vulvas as well as anal play. Users also love that it’s smooth, silky to the touch , and very easy to clean. Don’t let the size of this vibrator fool you — it packs a punch, with six different vibration patterns. And it’s just about silent, making it as discreet as can be in every way.

Its ergonomic shape and smooth silicone construction ensure comfortable wearability, while the powerful yet whisper-quiet motor delivers intense sensations. With its remote control feature, users can easily adjust vibration patterns and intensity levels without drawing attention. Whether worn internally or externally, the Magic Flamingo offers customizable stimulation for spontaneous adventures. Rounder and not quite as oblong as the similarly small bullet vibrators, egg vibrators are designed to fit inside the vagina and target the G-spot.

Searah Deysach, sex educator and owner of pleasure shop Early to Bed, points out that hands-free vibrators can upgrade your pleasure during partnered play, too. “With a partner, toys that you don’t have to hold onto allow you touch and feel your partner and stimulate them simultaneously,” she says. Plus, since many vulva-owners can’t orgasm from penetration alone, consider hands-free vibrators a strategy for taking the elevator rather than the stairs to climax. This sex toy is designed to be worn beneath your panties, so you can enjoy discreet fun wherever you go. Plus, the wireless range is 30ft, so your partner can control the vibration settings from across the room with the hand-held remote. While many vibrators and sex toys are designed for use on just one part of the body, palm vibrators can be used basically anywhere.

Most vibrators can be lightly immersed in water, but read the instructions to find out if your silicone toy can be cleaned in the dishwasher. When browsing less expensive sex toys, your best bet is to shop at reputable retailers, says Wright. Alternatively, you can watch for sales—some of which we cover here at SELF.

The tapered oval shape fits nicely against the vulva, with vibrations focused at the tip of the toy for clitoral stimulation. The toy is also flat enough (about 1 inch thick) for easy positioning between bodies during intercourse. The Magic Wand Rechargeable has an automatic shutoff function at the 20-minute mark, which can be disruptive if you don’t expect it (one of our testers thought the toy had run out of battery life when this happened). The manufacturer recommends letting the toy cool off after 20 minutes to prolong the motor’s life, but you can continue to use it at this point by simply turning it back on again.

It comes with three different silicone heads and has seven vibration modes and six intensities so you can customize it to produce the exact sensations you like best. Plus, if you want a little G-spot action it can be used internally too. The shape and power of wand vibrators in particular make them great for more than just intimacy. You could use it for total-body massage, hammering out sore muscles, and of course, on erogenous zones beyond clitoral stiumlation. “Wand vibrators can be incorporated into partnered sexual activities, enhancing the experience for all parties involved,” she says. With an impressive 16 settings and countless ways to bend it, the features of this Bluetooth-compatible vibrator make it very easy to customize your play session, which is why we think it’s the best G-spot vibrator on the market.